A Ninja's Worst Nightmare
by Blue Bandanna Girl
Summary: Snake Eyes centered. What happens when our all time favorite ninja has to go to the doctors? Mayhem issues.
1. Chapter 1

A/n: I went to the doctor's office today when I got this idea. I was waiting in the waiting area, and a ninja, literally, jumped out of the doctor's examination room. I was astonished. Guess who made a new friend. XD (P.S. This is a Sigma 6. They are the ones that I know the best.)

Disclaimer: I don't own G.I. Joe, only a Snake Eyes Action Figure, and the doctor who appears in this little story.

Ninjas

It was a calm peaceful morning, and golden rays of sunlight shone down onto the yard of the G.I. Joe secret headquarters. Snake Eyes was out in the yard, practicing his katas in the warm sunlight. He gracefully moved, without faltering in his movements. To some, his movements where like a beautiful painting, gracefully, and smooth. Yet, for all art, there is a critic.

A pair of brown eyes shone in the shade under a bush, not to far from our favorite ninja. With a lash of its tail, it darted forward and leaped at Snake Eyes, surprising him. He quickly caught it by the tail and looked at it.

The mouse squirmed and squealed, desperately trying to escape from Snake Eyes. Snake Eyes placed the mouse on the palm of his left hand and stroke it's brown body with his right hand. The mouse bristled and dug its teeth into his finger.

Snake Eyes let out a surprised and dropped the mouse to the ground. The mouse landed with a dull thud and looked up at Snake Eyes, before darting off into the under bush. Snake Eyes looked at his finger and mentally sighed when he saw the blood. He turned and headed off to the bathroom to clean the bite.

Inside the headquarters, hardly anyone was awake, but that was because it was only six a.m. Snake Eyes walked silently down the hallway that lead to the medic office.

"Where ya goin', Snakes?" a hoarse voice asked. Snake Eyes nearly jumped out of his skin, so absorbed in his thoughts he had been, that he hadn't heard the door to Heavy Duty's room open.

Snake Eyes turned towards Heavy Duty and showed him the finger that the mouse had bitten. Heavy Duty narrowed his eyes and examined it.

"Seems like that's a nasty little bite ya got there," muttered Heavy Duty straitening up. Snake Eyes nodded and looked at the bite himself. It had started to develop an unpleasant odor, and pus.

"How'd ya get it?"

Snake Eyes took his uninjured hand and began to act like a mouse, with his hand moving around. Heavy Duty blinked, and Snake Eyes mentally sighed. Snake Eyes shook his head and got down and the floor and started darting around like the rodent that had bite him. Finally Heavy Duty clued in, and Snake Eyes stood up, hoping that Heavy Duty wouldn't tell anyone about what Snake Eyes had just done.

With a smirk, Heavy Duty opened his mouth and said, "So. Ya got yer ass kicked by a mouse?" Snake Eyes slapped his forehead, making Heavy Duty break into laughter. "Ok. I get it. Jus' go get that bite cleaned. It looks disgusting."

Snake Eyes nodded and began to head down the hallway. Then he heard the snickering. With a movement so quick, a shuriken flew from Snake Eyes' hand and narrowly missed a shocked Heavy Duty. Too no ones surprise, Heavy Duty stopped snickering.

Snake Eyes continued on his way to the medic office. He opened the door and nearly jumped out of his skin once again. Duke was standing at the counter of the medic office with his hand bandaged and Scarlet scowling at Duke.

"I told you Duke, no grabbing strange chemicals," she scowled him. Duke smiled sheepishly and turned to face Snake Eyes.

"Hey Snakes. What's wrong with your finger?" questioned Duke, taking note of the bloody, pus-covered finger. Snake Eyes looked at his finger and visibly recoiled at the site. It had gotten worse.

"Snake, you should disinfect your finger, immediately," Scarlet said, handing him a bottle of peroxide. Snake Eyes took it and opened it and poured a bit into a small medical cup on the counter. Replacing the cap on the bottle, he stuck his finger into the cup of peroxide. Snake Eyes hissed at the stinging that came from the bite on his finger.

"I think Snakes should go have his finger checked by a doctor," said Duke noting how the cup was filling with odd coloured bubbles. Scarlet nodded and approached the ninja and looking at his finger currently dipped in the peroxide.

Snake Eyes stiffened as Scarlet pulled his finger out of the cup and examined it.

"That looks revolting!" Scarlet said, her face twisting into a look of disgust.

Snake Eyes shivered and shook his head vividly. Duke and Scarlet looked at each other, and smirked in unison.

Ninjas

A/n: And this was originally going to be a one shot but an evil plan for this story has developed in my head. Release the ninjas! Please review and tell me what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

A/n: Poor Snake Eyes… What I have in store for our favorite ninja will truly press all his buttons. So if I disappear, then we all know, the ninja got me. So… Without further ado! The second installment in our story!

Are

He had survived the brutal years of training that had taken up most of his time as a child. He had battled Storm Shadow, and hundreds of Cobras. He had survived dealing with the two members on his team, Tunnel Rat and Heavy Duty, but none of this could have prepared him for this moment. All his training would be put to the test. It would take all his courage, and bravery to pass this mission. He was determined to do it!

Yet… Hiding from the rest of Sigma 6 was a lot harder then he expected. That mouse bite was still filled with pus and bleeding and had turned a strange color of purple. But in no way, would he let his friends take him to the doctor's office! No! They would have to drag his cold lifeless body there! And he didn't plan on letting that happen! 

"Sensei!" Jinx. She was coming. Looking around, Snake Eyes spotted an open-air vent and silently leapt into it and scurried along the tunnel. In his mind he kept on hearing the song "Secret Agent Man" playing over and over in his head. If he could speak he would've started singing to it.

The vent came to a fork and Snake Eyes went down the left tunnel, and his eyes widened when he suddenly feel down a chute. Loud clunking sounds came from the chute as Snake Eyes zoomed down it, going around sharp turns, and at times, straight down to land back on another slide-like chute.

Snake Eyes silently cursed in his mind, as his poor bottom fell down another hole and made contact with the hard metal. A loud thump and a sharp pain in his butt, and Snake Eyes was through with the slide. He tried to stop himself, but the tubing was smooth and slippery and there was nothing he could grab onto. Or so he thought.

Having hot candle wax poured on his wrists would have felt better. Having someone whip his bare back with a bullwhip would have felt even better! But, he had no luck in getting those lovely feelings. No. He had just got hit with a triangular piece of metal right. In. Between. The. Legs.

If he could have, he would have screamed to the high heavens, but all he could do was bang his fists against the metal, tears streaming down his face as he lied down on his side and grasped- that area.

"Snake Eyes. My friend. Are you alright?" Spirit asked climbing up from underneath the venting, looking up at Snake Eyes through a vent. Snake Eyes turned his sight to Spirit and raised his hand and made a triangular shape. Spirit seemed to get the idea and he paled visibly.

"Do not worry my friend. I'll get you down." Spirit pulled over a chair and stood on it. With a might heave, Spirit removed the vent and pulled the ninja out.

Snake Eyes twisted out of Spirit's grip and kicked the chair out from beneath Spirit. Spirit's eyes widened as he crashed to the ground. When he looked up, the damn ninja was gone.

Snake Eyes rushed down the hall, his footsteps light and quick. He skidded to an abrupt stop when he saw something moving in the shadows. But, it was gone. Thoroughly perplexed, Snake Eyes shook his head and continued on running down the hall, stopping only to check if someone was coming.

Back in the shadows a figure watched Snake Eyes run, and the figure opened up a panel on their arm and looked at the small screen. The poison was beginning to take a more devastating effect on the ninja's body then planned. Shutting the panel, the figure disappeared back into the darker shadows.

Location: Top Secret Cobra Head quarters.

The small brown mouse scurried into a dimly lit room and let out a surprised squeak when a hand grabbed it by its tail and threw it into a holding container.

"Storm Shadow," a voice hissed. "Has the mouse returned?"

"Yes, master," Storm Shadow, replied bowing towards Cobra Commander.

"Good. Now send out, the Doctor."

"Yes master."

Location: Back at the Sea Titan

Loud thumping sounds came from a room as Snake Eyes listened through the door. He was curious and wanted to know what was going on in there. After a close call with Hi-Tech, Snake Eyes had begun to tail Duke and had seen the blond haired solider walk into the room with Scarlet.

"Harder Duke!" shouted Scarlet, making Snake Eyes nearly jump out of his skintight uniform.

"I thought I had to go fast?"

"Fast AND hard," groaned Scarlet. Snake Eyes eyes widened and he began to silently giggle as he listened to the audio "porn".

"Yes! Like that!"

Snake Eyes leaned closer against the door, when it suddenly gave way under his weight. He crashed to the ground and looked up at Scarlet and Duke. They were doing the opposite of what Snake Eyes had thought they had been doing. They were setting up some sort of trap, to catch Snake Eyes most likely.

"Well, the trap worked good," chuckled Duke.

"Grab him!"

Location: Unknown

Once the figure was sure they were out of surveillance range of the Sigma 6 headquarters, they opened the panel again, only to see Cobra Commander.

"Well, Minnow, have you got the information on Duke's current condition?" hissed Cobra looking at the figure expectantly.

Minnow shook her head. "It seems, the mouse has bitten Snake Eyes' instead, and he has gone, well, of his rocker," she told him and shrugged. "Now, can I go? I've completed my job, and the contract is now over."

Cobra seemed to consider this for a moment. "How exactly did you sneak into their base?"

"With Snake Eyes crazed, no one was manning the surveillance cameras." Cobra nodded and seemed to ponder for a second.

"Very well, you may go. I shall contact you if I need your services again." With that, the screen went black and Minnow crinkled her nose.

"Very well," she hissed, making a bad impersonation of Cobra, "I shall contact you if I need your services again." She growled and turned on the engine of her motorboat on. "Ha! Next time I'm charging him double!" With that, she zoomed off into the distance as the sun was setting to make the chapter have a more, humorous, James Bondish ending.

Are

So what do you think? Good? Bad? And don't worry; Minnow will only be making minimum screen time. All good stories have extras. And there shall be no romance! I suck at writing romance. So review and tell me what you thought!

(I own Minnow. You must have my permission to use her. But I have an idea for another story…)


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